His Hand in All of This…

For the past few several weeks, Cristina and I have been constantly reminded that “He is in control” and that “…there is really nothing we can do, other than wait”. Both of these realizations, while good for our Faith and strengthening for our marriage, are nonetheless sobering.

Every once-in-a-while, during the most difficult moments of this whole recuparation process, the fears/anxieties/sadness of the unknown hit us like a ton of bricks and we have what we call our weekly “emotional breakdown”….which usually last only an hour or two.

“What if something happens and they have to deliver Maria Isabella too early? How are we going to afford all of these medical bills, when all is said and done? What if this whole surgery doesn’t do everything that we hoped it would? Will Bella be able to walk as she grows up? Will we be good parents to a child with special needs?”

or

“This time of pregnancy is supposed to be a fun time of joy, and we should be with family and friends showing off the cute ‘baby bump’, instead of being locked up in this house all day! Why is this happening to us? What is God trying to teach us in all of this?”

…and the list goes on.

I know this may sound ‘rough’ or a little ‘blunt’ but I have to share a recent reflection that God has been confirming through the testimony of other parents here in the Ronald McDonald House.

With this type of situation, (awaiting a “special needs” or “out-of-the-ordinary” child) there comes the natural and well-intentioned response of friends and family: “I’m sooo sorry that you have to go through this” or “We have to be careful because we don’t want this to happen to any of your next children” and even the thought or insinuation of “Bella is going to come out PERFECT/FINE, just you wait!” or “God has given me a vision of Maria Isabella and she’s gonna come out 100% normal, just have faith!”

Don’t get me wrong, we are very hopeful! (and we try to be as faithful as humans can be, daily!) But, you have to understand something – Maria Isabella is who she is. She is a little mix of Pocta and Rivera, she seems to have a slightly dark skin tone (the Doctors told us when they operated on her back) and she has Spina Bifida. She always will. This is part of who she is. 

If she were any other way, she would not be our daughter. 

God has sent us to her….He has sent us here to Philly/NJ for a reason, for a Divine Purpose….and on the days that Cristina and I aren’t too consumed in focusing on our own problems, (instead of being present to those around us) we can see it in every interaction we encounter.

So….(and trust me, I say this with ALL of the LOVE in the world!) if you pray for us…or pray that Bella’s Spina Bifida wasn’t there anymore, instead pray not only that Cristina and I will be the best parents that we can possibly be to her, but that she will be free to grown in to the person that God has created her to be, free to love others and to teach others, all according to His Divine Plan.

His Hand is most definitely in ALL of this…..because trust me, if it wasn’t, Cristina and I would have quit a LONG time ago.

7 Week Update

Today marks 7 weeks since Cristina and Maria Isabella’s fetal repair for the small defect (Spina Bifida) that was discovered 2 1/2 months ago.

Aside from a little scare from the ultrasound, everything is looking very good! Not only has Maria Isabella continued growing as expected, (and as hoped!) but she continues to move her legs and feet. Today we caught a quick glimpse of her toes twinkling…..and that is a VERY good thing!

Towards the end of the check-up, our nurse and ultrasound technician noticed something with Cristina’s cervix and both became very quiet for a moment. But they aren’t like that…..both are actually very joyful and ‘jolly’ about everything, each time that we visit for our check-up…so Cristina and I knew that something was up.

“Now…we don’t want you to start freaking out, cuz that won’t be good for the situation, Cristina, but we found a little dilation of the Cervix that is cause for a little concern….so we’re gonna go talk to the team and look a little further.”

The funny thing is that we didn’t start to worry….which is also out of the ordinary because we’ve become somewhat accustomed to worrying during our ultrasounds. (since the fateful day that they found the defect)

I looked at Cristina and we both, almost at the same moment, said to each other “I’m not worried. For some reason, I have that sense that He’s in control and there’s NOTHIN we can do about whatever is happening.”

So I step outside to ask the nurse a question and as they notice me coming out of the little sonogram room they all quiet down and look towards me, and quickly (and what seemed to be nervously) ask: “Is everything ok? We’ll be right in!”

Well….I didn’t want to freak Cristina out…so I walked back in and looked at her to say “Don’t worry babe….I’m sure it’s all gonna be fine and this is somewhat normal”…….as the ultrasound technician comes back in to do an alternative machine to examine the actual cervix.

What had happened was that the cervix site appeared to be extremely dilated (like in a woman that was 9 months pregnant, due ANY minute!) and they thought that Cristina was going to have to be hospitalized and it seemed like Maria Isabella was going to have to be delivered like….today!

FALSE ALARM, Praise God! Cristina had held her bladder for more than 2 hours in order to give them a good urine sample….and the bladder put so much pressure near the cervix site that the image they captured in the sonogram was actually a mere “focal” contraction in that area due to the pressure from the bladder. No need to worry, everything was OK!

After our appointment, we got the chance to visit with our friend, Avery, and her parents who are in CHOP all day while they wait for her to receive her monthly “heavy-dose” of Chemo/Radiation treatment to fight the cancer in her stomach. She’s quite a special girl, and has definitely been one of the people here at the Ronald McDonald House that makes our days go by a little bit faster. Please pray for her….she’s only 5 years old and has not only spent the past 7 months battling cancer, she has been in this Ronald McDonald House (away from her siblings/dad and the “normal” life of a 5 year-old) for the past 5 months….and she still has 4 to go. She’s a tough girl…but she’s got a ways to go, so please pray for her and her parents!

Here’s a little contest video we put together this past weekend for our Ronald McDonald House here in Camden New Jersey – as part of a Toyota Cars 4 Good contest. Our hope is to win a new Toyota for the Ronald McDonald House by getting the most “likes” on Facebook on June 21st. Check it out! I will remind you all when the date approaches!

Thank you for you prayers and support! Even though things look good….and God continues to bless us…..we still have a ways to go – 9 more weeks! In 2 weeks we will be approaching our half-way point…..so please continue to pray hard for Cristina and Maria Isabella! Your prayers and support mean so much to us, we always look forward to checking the mail downstairs and finding letters that you’ve sent to help keep Cristina from going crazy!

God bless you!

Andrew

6 Week Update (and ultrasound videos)!!!

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been 6 weeks since Cristina and Maria Isabella’s Spina Bifida/Myelomeningocele fetal repair back on March 14th. For those of you who need the background info, here’s the post about the Surgery at CHOP (with Videos, separated by chapters) and also the posts from the day of surgery.

6 long weeks….and 10 more to go until Maria Isabella is delivered by C-section. (which is and will be necessary for all of our future deliveries because of the traumatic incision to the Uterus during fetal surgery)

Today was a very good day! Maria Isabella seems to be coming along great her hindbrain herniation has begun reversing – allowing a natural flow of fluids to/from her brain. Her head shape and the size of her ventricles (because of an increase of fluid build-up associated with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus) all remain “normal” and show no signs of concern…which is a HUGE relief. Our prayer is that this continue to stay the same and that the more time that Bella is in her mother’s womb, the more time she will have to heal.

Here are a couple of video clips I got of her Ultrasound today:

Here you can see Maria Isabella with her hands on her cheeks

In the first few seconds, you can see her move her hand across her face

In this video, notice Maria Isabella and her hiccups

Isn’t she gorgeous!? As you can see, she is coming along well! Please pray that this continues!

Let me thank you all for your continued prayer and help…we continue to receive letters/cards/packages in the mail and trust me, this has helped Cristina and I get through this whole thing….we feel your support and Christ’s presence through each and every one of you!

More updates to come!

In Christ,

Andrew, Cristina and Maria Isabella Pocta

Easter / Week 4 Doctor’s Appointment

First and foremost, we hope you have had a blessed and holy time of Easter – in celebrating Our Lord’s Passion and Resurrection all for US!

As for Cristina and I, we were able to enter in to the Great Mystery of our Faith in a special way this year. On Good Friday, we decided to sit and pray/meditate as we watched The Passion on our laptop and during the 2 hours of the film, Cristina went through some of the worst post-surgery pains that she has experienced since the actual operation…..so she was really able to enter-in.

Our bedroom at the Ronald McDonald House….

Unfortunately, one of the realities for Cristina since the surgery is that all of Maria Isabella’s movements cause her an intense stinging/stabbing pain near her incision. (and the ab muscles that were cut through in order to access the uterus) So, while we LOVE to feel little Bella move….and trust me, the other night Cristina said she felt her jumping (you could even see her stomach moving a little from where I was on the bed!)……it’s also a painful experience. It’s not as funny as it sounds, but we both sometimes pray – nervously – to God that she continue moving, because each day that she moves is a GOOD sign, but we know that it means pain for Cristina. It’s tough as a husband because I’m unable to really do anything to alleviate her pains…..and the more that I talk, the more that Bella moves!

On Saturday – the Vigil of His Resurrection – I spent the morning learning how to make Puerto Rican roast pork or “Pernil” (pronounced like Pair-Kneel for all of our non-spanish-speaking family) and Puerto Rican mashed & seasoned Plaintains or “Mofongo” (pronounced like Mo-Phone-Go) with a Puerto Rican family staying at the Ronald McDonald House. It came out pretty good and looks like this:

Not as good as my Father-in-Law’s, but still good. 

For our “Easter-Vigil”, we had a visit from Msgr Michael Mannion (our new friend) who brought us – and 2 other Catholic families – Communion and prayer because none of us are able to leave the Ronald McDonald House to visit any of the nearby Churches. One of the families comes all-the-way from Chicago and are going through some of the initial phases of evaluation for treatment for their newly adopted son, Henry, who comes from the Ukraine.

Henry was born with an extremely rare disorder called Larsen’s Syndrome. His parents, Paul and Carla, have 6 biological children and have answered God’s call for them to adopt another – a special needs boy who was abandoned by his mother in the Ukraine. They were told about his disorder and special needs when they first enquired about adoption and specifically Henry, but when they had his first medical exams here in the US, they found that his physical condition was MUCH MUCH different than they had ever imagined or had been told. Please pray for Henry and for Carla as they pursue some of the options for his treatment at CHOP, they are an incredible family and it is obvious that if Love is the cure for any disease/disorder/wound, Henry is in very good hands! Check out their blog at : Bringing Henry Home. 

That same night of the Easter Vigil, some of the other guys here who are staying at the Ronald McDonald House with their wives and I decided to grill-out on the back porch, as a sort of Easter celebration and a way to get out of the daily routine of things, especially being stuck in the house. It turned out to be a pretty nice night of grilling, sharing stories and enjoying the company of other families who are all going through difficult times themselves. In some profound way, we can see how God has brought us all together at this very time, from all around the world, to share in these scary but hopeful moments of our lives.

Well….back to our countdown. After counting down the 6-7 days between each wednesday, we arrived at our 4th appointment since being discharged from the hospital. It’s kind of weird but since finding out everything in the ultrasound about Bella’s back, back on Feb 13th, every ultrasound seems to cause us a certain amount of nerve/anxiety. I also feel like a pro when it comes to what the technicians and doctors look for once they get Maria Isabella in their sights on the ultrasound screen…..”Doctor, how are the fluid levels in her brain? How are the membranes on the Uterus looking today?….”. My wife usually has to pinch me to shut-up before I practically run through the actual check-up without giving them time to get all of their data!

Praise God, today everything (fluid levels, toes/feet/leg movement) seems to be going exactly the same…which is a VERY good thing! Maria Isabella seems to be jumping around late at night while we watch a movie or play games on the bed, but by the time she’s looked at in the Ultrasound, she’s back to a breach position. She’s definitely as stubborn as her mother…..and the Doctor tried to get a good picture of her today but right when she had moved enough for the good quick shot of her face you see in the picture above, she started moving again and facing downwards in the breach position. The doctor was laughing and getting a little frustrated, “Oh, well if that’s how it’s gonna be Maria, then forget it!” she told her.

After finishing up, we were able to head down to the NICU to visit our friend’s daughter…..the woman that we mentioned in a previous post that had global Membrane Separation (one of the risks associated with the surgery) and had to have a C-Section only 2 weeks after her Fetal Surgery. Her daughter, now 28-29 weeks old, (or 1 month out of the womb) is also doing really well! She’s tiny….a little over 12 inches long…..but her development is going really well! Please continue to keep them in your prayers…it’s a long road ahead and she has had to sacrifice being away from family while she lives here at the Ronald McDonald House and in the NICU at CHOP. The NICU at CHOP is world-renowned and is one of the most beautiful yet warm/comfortable ICU units that I’ve ever seen, even in pictures. Here’s a little breakdown of how it’s set up:

 That’s all of the news we have for this week. We thank everyone who sent cards and messages to Cristina on her birthday Friday…and thank you to all of those who have been praying and supporting us…..you continue to be so generous and have taken a HUGE load of worry off of our shoulders as we slowly and nervously count down each week as it passes!

Please continue praying….I will try to update this twice a week….and I’d love to share more of the stories of the families and children who are staying here at the Ronald McDonald House….their stories and their joy is amazing….we are truly in the midst of living Miracles!

Thank you and may Our Risen Lord Bless you!

Andrew (and Cristina and Maria Isabella)

A long road ahead…prayers urgently needed…still.

***PRAYER INTENTION AT THE BOTTOM – IF YOU CAN’T READ THIS ENTIRE POST, PLEASE READ THE  BOTTOM!***

Sorry for the lack of updates in the past few days….it’s definitely been a roller-coaster of events.

As of Monday, March 19th (last night), we are moved in to the Ronald McDonald House of Camden in south New Jersey. Despite the initial impression of the surrounding neighborhood, the House itself and its staff are incredible! Not only have they given us a temporary apartment that is BIGGER than our apartment in New York, there is a constant flow of free food and activities downstairs at any given time!

Altogether there are 22 other families being “housed” here (free of charge, donations suggested) while they are required to stay in the Philadelphia and surrounding areas. Families have come from Europe and all over the United States to seek help for their special needs children. In this specific house it has earned the reputation as being a refuge for pregnant mothers who are undergoing or have undergone the same operation that Cristina had last week. Needless to say, this will be the ideal place for us as we are able to share with other married couples and mothers going through the same situation (fears, nerves, pains, etc).

Check out their history – http://rmhc.org/who-we-are/our-history/

It’s pretty incredible that this place exists! I mean…you can’t get much better than this – each day tons of food donations are dropped off for everyone in the house to use for breakfast and lunch (each guest is given their own private cabinet and refrigerator space) and every night, volunteers come to cook meals for the entire house!

A new friend of ours mentioned to us that the co-founder of the Ronald McDonald House charity, Jim Murray, is a devout Catholic….check out his story here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Murray_(American_football)

The Lord continues to go before us and provide for our needs each day!

To top that off, to ease my worries about financial and practical burdens/difficulties during these next few months, God is using friends, families and even generous strangers – as some people have reached out and offered help if we were to ever need it!

Praise God for His Providence, which is shown and experienced through the generosity of His People – the Body of Christ!

Thanks to all of you who have reached out to us during this time……especially those who have helped out….we promise to carry each and every one of you in our daily prayers! Maria Isabella has yet to know how much she is loved by SO many!

Please keep praying for her and for Cristina’s slow recovery. I know that after the surgery was over, many people remarked “Phew, glad the hard part is over”….but the reality that the doctors and surgeons shared with us is that the work has just begun. In many ways, the main surgeon felt that the surgery was actually one of the easiest aspects of this whole process…the prayers need now are for a calm and slow/steady recovery for Cristina’s uterus, allowing her to carry Maria Isabella to-term, without going in to labor early.

PLEASE continue to pray for that, just as fervently as you prayed during the time of surgery!

In Christ,

Andrew (with love from Cristina and Maria Isabella!)